Genealogy Forum NEWS
October, 1998
GENEALOGY HUMOR
Would You Believe?
Submitted by
GFSCindy@aol.com & GFSDrew@aol.com
Would you believe...these are copies of actual correspondence received by the LDS Family History Department?
Our 2nd great grandfather was found dead crossing the plains in the library. He was married 3 times in the endowment house and has 21 children.
For running down the Wheelers, I will send $3.00 more.
He and his daughter are listed as not being born.
I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.
Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?
My Grandfather died at the age of 3.
We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.
Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas, now only the Good Lord know where it is . . .
The wife of #22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn; what do you think?
I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.
Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do.
I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.
This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are, please add them to the list.
We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?
Will you please send me the name of my first wife? I have forgotten her name.
A 14-year-old boy wrote: "I do not want you to do my research for me. Will you please send me all of the material on the Welch line, in the US, England and Scotland countries? I will do the research.
Further research will be necessary to eliminate one of the parents.
Finding Female Ancestors
Submitted by B D Bullen@aol.com
They think that I should cook and clean,
and be a model wife.
I tell them it's more interesting
to study Grandpa's life.
They simply do not understand
why I hate to go to bed....
I'd rather do two hundred years
of research work instead.
Why waste the time we have on earth
just snoring and asleep?
When we can learn of ancestors
that sailed upon the deep?
We have Priests, Rabbis, lawmen, soldiers,
more than just a few.
And yes, there's many scoundrels,
and a bootlegger or two.
How can a person find this life
an awful drudge or bore?
When we can live the lives of all
those folks who came before?
A hundred years from now of course,
no one will ever know
whether I did laundry,
but they'll see our Tree and glow....
Cause their dear old granny left for them,
for all posterity,
not clean hankies and the like,
but a finished family tree.
My home may be untidy,
cause I've better things to do....
I'm checking all the records
to provide us with a clue.
Old great granny's pulling roots
and branches out with glee.
Her clothes ain't hanging out to dry,
she's hung up on the Tree.
~
Author Unknown
You Know You're Taking Genealogy Too Seriously If ...
Submitted by Trowen@aol.com
You are the only person to show up at the cemetery research party with a shovel.
In order to put the "final touches" on your genealogical research, you've asked all of your closest relatives to provide DNA samples.
You were instrumental in having "non-genealogical use of the genealogy room copy machine" classified as a federal hate crime.
Your house leans slightly toward the side where your genealogical records are stored.
You decided to take a two-week break from genealogy, and the U.S. Postal Office immediately laid off 1,500 employees.
Out of respect for your best friend's unquestioned reputation for honesty and integrity, you are willing to turn off that noisy surveillance camera while she reviews your 57 genealogical research notebooks in your home. The armed security guard, however, will remain.
You plod merrily along "refining" your recently published family history, blissfully unaware that the number of errata pages now far exceeds the number of pages in your original publication.
During an ice storm and power outage, you ignore the pleas of your shivering spouse and place your last quilt around that 1886 photograph of dear Uncle George.
The most recent document in your "Missing Ancestors" file is a 36-page contract between you and Johnson Billboard Advertising Company.
Ed McMahon, several t.v. cameras and an envelope from Publishers Clearing House show arrive at your front door on Super Bowl Sunday, and the first thing you say is, "Are you related to the McMahons of Ohio?".
"A Loving Family" and "Financial Security" have moved up to second and third, respectively, on your list of life's goals, but still lag far behind "Owning My Own Microfilm Reader."
A magical genie appears and agrees to grant your any one wish, and you ask that the 1890 census be restored.
An Open E-mail to my Upstairs Relatives:
Forwarded by GFSAcadian@aol.com
From rosewebb@datasync.com
through the ACADIAN-CAJUN-L@rootsweb.com mail list
The following was posted on the Cumberland (England) list a few daysago. Kinda sums up everybody's occasional frustrations.
An Open E-mail to my Upstairs Relatives:
After spending a frustrating evening pouring over illegible handwriting in badly damaged and out of focus parish registers - and still not finding MY relatives - I thought it was time to send an open email (at www.ofcoursethereisaheaven.com) to all my "Upstairs" relatives who have gone to Heaven (99% of them) or the Other Place (1%). The text follows. (Feel free to insert your own relative's names were appropriate.)
Dear.............:
I am your.....................and living in the late 20th century here in................. .
I am sitting in front of a microfilm projector (I'll explain what that is, in a later email) in a special library run by the LDS, (nice people but later on them too) trying to decipher the small and shaky handwriting of your parish curate. He must have been either vertically challenged or had palsy, because it's unreadable! At least I think it is your parish! I'm not even sure of the decade!
Thanks for leaving such a good paper trail. (Sarcasm intended)
According to family legend, you and your wife............... had ............... children, some of whom lived beyond infancy. Yet not a single one was recorded in the parish records! I can't even find your marriage certificate! You two WERE married, right?? Didn't you know that there would be legions of people, like me, frantically spending their waking hours and small fortunes, looking for any and all traces of your lives? Were you just stubborn, couldn't afford the fees, or not members of the Established Church?
You're wondering, "What's all the fuss, we're dead as doornails?"
We're not sure, but down here we're affected with the disease - Rootsus Obsessionus, and WE are going to leave better records for OUR descendants!
Anyway, I'm glad I was able to vent my frustrations upward. If I couldn't do that, I'd have probably popped the obnoxious researcher next to me, who is right now translating and old record in German - and out loud for God's sake (opps).
I have an idea - when I'm "dead-on" (pardon the expression) to finding the correct record, give me some sort of sign. Make the projector bulb flicker twice. Or, if it must be done in the privacy of my home, I have a Labrador Retriever - talk to her, that'll get my attention for sure!
Thanks for listening. I'll be better in the morning, and back at the library tomorrow night for round 14, so catch me there.
Sincerely
Your.....................
Beginner's Center | File Libraries | Internet Center
Message Boards | Resource Center | Reunion Center
Surname Center| Previous NEWS Issues
BACK to Cover Page - GFSNEWS 10/98
© 1998 - 2006 Graphics By Carol, All Rights Reserved
Content © 1998 - 2006 GFNEWS, a monthly publication of Golden Gate Services, Inc. of Armada, MI The Editors welcome your ideas and articles, success stories, favorite genealogy research tips, comments and suggestions. The Genealogy Forum is a proud member of the FGS - Federation of Genealogical Societies