Genealogy Forum NEWS
February, 1999
Genealogy Humor - Part I
Genealogy Humor I
Heredity:
A Genealogy Poem by Grandpa Tucker
Forwarded by GFS Cindy@aol.com
I saw a duck the other day.
It had the feet of my Aunt Faye.
Then it walked, was heading South.
It waddled like my Uncle Ralph.
And when it turned, I must propose,
Its bill was formed like Aunt Jane's nose.
I thought, "Oh, no! It's just my luck,
Someday I'll look just like a duck!"
I sobbed to Mom about my fears,
And she said, "Honey, dry your tears.
You look like me, so walk with pride.
Those folks are all from Daddy's side."
Remember When...
Forwarded by GFS CO2@aol.com
A computer was something on t.v.
from a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
and ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and gig was a job for the nights
now they all mean different things
and that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment
A program was a t.v. show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3" floppy
you hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
you'd be in jail for awhile.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened in your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web site was a spider's home
and a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!
Great Truths About Life...
Forwarded by KeefusSue@aol.com
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- Never ask a 3-year old to hold your tomato.
- You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
- Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.
- Never turn on a dustbuster while holding your cat.
- School lunches can stick to the wall.
- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
- Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
- There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
- Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
- The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere ... and let the air out of their tires.
- Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
- The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
- If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.
- Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
- You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
For Further Reading
Genealogy Humor GFN Oct 1998.
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